I wish today was day one

I have had several drinks today. I am also reading about Rational Recovery.

I have been going to AA sporadically lately. My officlial sobriety date is December 19, 2007. The thing is, I have had drinks several times since then. I am pretty much in denial about my drinking right now.

I tell myself that I haven't exactly started drinking again. I'm just have drinks now and then. But, of course, I am drinking again. That's why I'm looking at the Rational Recovery page. I am not sure what I think of the idea that I and I alone am respondable for both my drinking and stopping my drinking.

Part of the problem is that what I read tells me I have to stop going to AA. I can't do this without talking to Morgan; and if I do that I need to talk to her about my recent/current drinking.